When Colin and I got engaged, Helen (my mom) was very excited. She really likes Colin and seems to be proud of the fact we're going to be married. So she decided it was important to her that we carry out the custom of having an engagement announcement published in the local newspaper. And she volunteered to take it upon herself to write the little blurb.
My mother, my stepfather, Colin, Colin's mother and myself happened to all be together and so Helen decided it was a good time to get the details necessary to include in the announcement. Typically included are parents names and locations and the couples education credentials and occupation and maybe location and wedding date. Seems straight forward, however, when it comes to my mother nothing is ever straight forward.
First a little back story. When I met Colin I was working at a radio station (WBKV/WBWI) as a copywriter. My mother considered this a real job.
After awhile I wanted to try something else. Something more journalistic. So I took a job as a writer and sports reporter for a web site company. My mother did not consider this a real job. Writing for the Internet? Who reads anything on the Internet?
The web site job didn't work out as expected and so after careful consideration and discussion with Colin, we decided I could leave the web site company and try my hand a working for myself as a freelance writer. This my mother didn't understand. To her I was simply unemployed, which caused her some discomfort, though she's not much for working herself. Go figure.
So the point of all that is this. When it came to the part to list my occupation my mother suggested we put "Formerly employed as a copywriter as at WBWI/WBKV." (If she wanted to use my last occupation, she would have used the Internet based company, but you can see, that really didn't count.) Colin and I said my occupation should simply be listed as writer. And so she tentatively made a note of my occupation as writer.
And so a few weeks go by and my mother calls to ask if we have the picture of us that is to accompany the announcement. I tell her no and ask her to mail what she has written up to me and when I get the picture I'll handle sending the announcement and the picture the newspaper. (Sidebar: Now when I said mail, I meant email, but my mother doesn't have the Internet, silly me, so she typed it in Word, printed it and mailed it to me, as in postal mail.)
Before I get into how she butchered the announcement, let's start with how she addressed the envelope. At this point, I'd officially moved in with Colin for just around six months. I'd done a change of address with the post office, given everyone my new address, and had had no problem receiving my mail. However, that did not stop my mother from addressing the envelope to Cana Tinkle
In care of Colin Comer
As though I were just a guest in his house instead of it being our residence. So that was jab number one letting me know she didn't quite respect where I was in my life. And if she hadn't have addressed the envelope that way, maybe what was inside the envelope wouldn't have affected me so much.
The announcement started fine. Parents blah blah blah, Colin graduate of blah, works at blah, Cana a graduate of blah, and then BAM! There it was, her little passive aggressive jab number two: "Cana is currently pursuing a career in writing." Currently pursuing? As though the last five years where my job title included the word writer, as in copywriter, sports writer/reporter, were insignificant and didn't warrant my mother believing I already had a career in writing.
If she wants to say I'm pursuing a career, or hobby even, in racecar driving, I'll give her that. But I am not pursuing a career in writing. I am a writer. Yes, Mother, that's a legitimate job. Even if it's freelance and even if it's only for the Internet.
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