Money as metal

Yesterday I held $5 million in my hand...give or take half a mil.

First I just stared at it. Taking it all in. The way a person stares at a pile of puzzle pieces deciding where to begin. How to tackle the task at hand. Then slowly I began to touch it. I stroked it front to back, top to bottom, trying to memorize how every smooth, cool line felt beneath my fingers. I wanted to pause this moment in time so that I could burn the image into my mind, engrave it into my memory like a jeweler inscribes a heartfelt message on a piece of fine jewelry. The inscription in my mind would say, "You have touched greatness, you lucky bitch."

People would give a kidney to have been in my place today. How did I get this opportunity, and who has 5 mil just laying around for me to play with? Well this 5 million was not cash, but instead in the form of cars. And it was my honor to dust them off and wipe them down with detail spray. I'm probably in the minority, but if given the choice I'd take the cars over brief cases filled with cash any day. Of course if I did have the cash, I'd just use it to buy cars.

So how many cars does it take to equal $5 million? In this case, only seven, comprised of one very dirty 1957 Mercedes SL Prototype, 1961 Austin Healey 3000, a Meadowbrook winning 1965 Shelby GT350, a '66 GT350, a 1968 L78 Chevrolet Camaro, a 1974 Ferrari Dino, and the coup de grâce, a 1966 Ford GT40 Mark I. How's that for a dream car garage lineup? Some American muscle paired with some European sports car styling.

Of course the Dino and the GT aren't allowed to park next to each other. They don't play nice as the Dino is still bitter about his predecessors losing to Ford at Le Mans. You'd think after 40+ years the Ferrari would just accept the loss and move on.

I didn't get to drive any of these cars yesterday, but as my reward for cleaning them - as if cleaning them weren't reward enough - I got to drive something else as a means of my first drag racing lesson. A 1965 Pontiac GTO. Tri-Power. Next weekend is the Supercar Reunion, and I will be drag racing. Look for me around the means streets of Milwaukee this week, practicing my launch. I've already amassed one fan. Some guy pulled over to watch as I was getting ready to launch and told me he wanted to see me light 'em up. I was more than happy to try and oblige. I wonder if he's always dreamed about finding some cute young blonde driving around squealing the tires of some old Goat?